Wait. I’m an Artist?
What?? After a lifetime of creative expression how is it that I still can’t fully believe it?
Looking back now I can see that all my life I was an artist, always drawn to creation with whatever materials I had available. Coloring books, paper and scissors, a keyboard and a tape recorder, clay, beads, face paint, fabric, yarn, gel pens, a camera, charcoal, cut out images from magazines, washi tape, old books — so . many. arts and crafts. But it wasn’t until the past few years that I dared to use the word “artist” to describe myself.
Why?
Imposter syndrome I guess because…always. I also had a narrow view of what an “artist” was — someone trained in fine arts, who sold expensive pieces in fancy galleries, who lived in a loft studio with paint all over the floor and walls.
— That’s not me.
It took a close friend (who is a “real” trained artist) to tell me that I actually am an artist for me to slowly start to believe it. That was 12 years ago and I still haven’t fully integrated that into my self-concept.
In the past year I was talking with my partner and they referred to me as an artist. I started to protest and then was met with “You make art everyday. You make more art than anyone I know.” That stopped me in my tracks. If that’s true…that sounds like an “artist.”
I frequently pull up those words in my mind when I need some reassurance that I’m not just pretending (I mean, we all are playing and pretending all of the time, but that’s for another post.) but deserve to call myself what I am.
So, why is this “artist” telling you all of this? Because now that I’m able to claim this title I can see that all my life I’ve been coping with art. Without creation I never could have healed from abuse, a miscarriage, grief, chronic burnout, and even moral injury as a therapist in these broken systems.
Tapping into creativity is powerful — I’ve experienced it time and time again and I’ve been lucky enough to facilitate and witness it with loved ones, clients, and colleagues.
Creative expression means so much to me. It’s woven into the fibers of my being. And it’s because of this that I am compelled to share the benefits with others, especially those in the helping professions who often need real self-care but are in constant cycles of burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious trauma without the time, support, or resources to access it.
As my art workshop offerings have evolved over the years I’ve found my way to where I am now: offering live, virtual, creative expression workshops for professional helpers and healers within antiracist, LGBTQIA+ and Neuro Affirming safe spaces.
The journey has been meandering and sometimes stagnated but it’s one I hold dear — this is my most vulnerable and authentic work. And I think that means something.
If you want a safe affirming place to feel held as you are, I’d love to have you join us for a workshop sometime soon 😊
Our next 6 session virtual Intro to SoulCollage® series starts up on February 23rd! You can read more about that here.
💜 Jen
